


Wickoff Drabbles

by NeverlandHeart



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:33:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverlandHeart/pseuds/NeverlandHeart
Summary: A series of drabbles dedicated to Wickoff, because I've become obsessed with writing them. Other characters will pop up but the drabbles will mainly focus on Julia and Kady.





	1. Sparks

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of the drabble on my "quester drabbles" series, just to get things started. 
> 
> For the Prompt: "Sometimes you forget to breathe and it scares the shit out of me."

When Kady first met Julia, it was an accident. She’d seen her around campus and of course since they both lived there, she saw her in the physical kids cottage everyday, but they never met. Julia was always attached to the hip with Quentin Coldwater and they were rarely seen without each other. Not even when Quentin started dating Eliot Waugh and joined his tiny clique with Margo Hanson. Julia had always seemed like the uptight type. Kady didn’t know why, especially now when she knows her better than she knows herself, but she just did.

And then, one day, as if fate had stuck out it’s foot to trip her, Julia Wicker literally fell straight into Kady’s arms. She had dropped her books and apologized to Kady immediately while she picked them up. And that’s when she first got a good look at Julia. She was all legs and olive skin and her wavy hair cascaded down her back. And her eyes. A light brown with something powerful lurking under the surface. Kady brushed it off, told her it was fine. And then they both went their separate ways.

After that, though, it seemed like Julia was always running into her and one day, having had enough, Kady asked her when she was going to ask her out. And she was shocked, but it quickly turned into a smirk that she’s come to love more than the sun, and did just that. And, the rest, as they say, is history.

* * *

Now, Julia is sitting across from Kady on the sofa in the middle of the living room, her hands moving and her fingers dancing. And Kady can tell that she’s not breathing. This happens a lot. Julia gets so caught up in her own head that she forgets just about everything else. “Jules.” Kady stands up and walks over to the other couch. “Julia.” She carefully puts a hand on her cheek and as if just realizing she’s been holding her breath, she lets out a slightly gasping one.

Kady is immediately sitting besides her. “I hate when you do that shit.”

Julia looks at her, mouth frowning in confusion. “Do what?”

“It’s like..you forget to breathe sometimes and it scares the shit out of me.”

“I do?” Kady nods and leans over to give her a soft peck on the lips. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She moves closer and sits cross legged, mirroring Julia so their knees are now touching. “What’s going on in your head?”

Julia sighs and tucks her hair behind her ears. “The exam tomorrow.”

Kady frowns at her. “Why are you worried about that? You’re gonna ace it, you always do.”

Julia shakes her head. “But Alice Quinn-“

“Fuck Alice Quinn. You’re ten times as powerful as she is.”

And she really is. Alice may be trained but Julia’s abilities come from raw power. Kady has seen Julia master spells in minutes. But it’s more than that. When Julia casts, it’s like she enters an entire different world. Her eyes light up and she practically glows and if Kady didn’t know any better she’d swear Julia was a goddess. Julia doesn’t just practice magic, she is magic. “And you’re not just powerful, you’re brilliant, Firefly.” At that, Julia cracks a real smile. It seems, at least to Kady, that that nickname always makes her smile no matter the circumstance. Kady has never been one for nicknames because they rarely mean anything. But Julia’s does. The way she is with her sparks, and the way she’s dragged Kady out of the dark more times than she can count. She’s a firefly, a lightning bug. And she’s gorgeous. “You’ve got this, Jules.” She squeezes her knee and then they both go back to what they were doing, but they stay touching.

* * *

Kady is waiting for Julia when she walks out of the classroom and she’s grinning because Julia is practically beaming and has a slight skip in her step. Before she can even open her mouth, Julia’s lips are on hers, her arms snaking around her neck and Kady responds immediately, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer. Julia is the first to pull away and when her smile grows even bigger Kady can’t help but laugh. “I’m guessing it went well?”

Julia’s smile turns into a smirk. “It went excellently.”

“Mm,” Kady squeezes her hips. “And?”

Julia grins and shakes her head. “You first.”

Kady scoffs but complies. “Battle magic.”

Julia makes a humming noise like she’s not surprised. “I totally called that as your discipline.” When Kady gives her an expectant look she holds up her hand and wiggles her fingers. “Electrokinesis.”

At that, Kady let’s out a laugh and grabs the hand Julia is holding in the air, intertwining their fingers. “No shit.”

Julia looks behind Kady and smiles. “Quentin!” She rushes towards him, dragging Kady with her. “Hey, how did it go?”

Quentin looks more mopey than usual and Kady almost rolls her eyes but she restrains herself because Quentin is her girlfriends best friend so she’ll at least try to get along with him. He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. “They don’t know, I’ve been marked as undetermined.”

Julia gives him a reassuring smile. “It’s no big deal, Q. Remember when Eliot told us Margo didn’t find out her discipline until her second year? Maybe it just takes time, they’ll figure it out soon enough.” She grabs his hand with the one that isn’t holding Kady’s and they all begin to walk down the hallway. “Either way, we’re celebrating tonight.”

* * *

Sex with Julia is incredible. Not just because of the obvious. Sex with Julia is literally electric, and there’s a million things Kady loves about her, but the fact that when she comes, small sparks gather around her fingertips, is very high on that list. Kady moves from between her legs to trail kisses up to her naval, slowly moving upwards until she’s breathing against her neck. “You’re doing it again.”

Julia lets out a single breathy laugh. “Maybe I’m not forgetting how to breathe and you’re just taking my breath away.” At that, Kady looks up at her with a blank expression on her face and she holds it for a few seconds before both of them burst into a fit laughter that makes their stomachs hurt.

“That was the worst attempt at being smooth anyone has ever tried.” Kady lays on her back and opens her arms and Julia lays her head on her chest, excepting the invitation. “Remind me why I’m in love with you again?”

She can’t see Julia’s smirk but she can practically feel it. “Because I can do this?” Julia takes a single finger and presses it against Kady’s left nipple, giving her the tiniest shock. “Or maybe because I-“ Kady cuts her off by yanking her on top of her and crashing their mouths together causing Julia to smile against her lips.

* * *

 The entire room is silent. It’s not exactly tension, more so fear. “So were really going to do this.” Margo is the first to speak up. “We’re going to kill the fucking Beast?”

“We have too,” Quentin speaks up from his position between Eliot’s legs where he’s resting his back. “This needs to end.”

Alice is the first to stand up and the others follow her. “Hey,” Kady grabs Julia’s hand and squeezes it. “We’re going to be fine, Firefly.”

Julia doesn’t looks convinced but she gives Kady a small smile. “I love you.”

“I know.” She leans in and kisses Julia’s forehead. “I love you too. We’re going to be fine.” She repeats it again and then they’re walking into Fillory.

* * *

 Kady’s too late. That’s always been her problem. She’s always too late. The room smells like copper and she wants to vomit. Kady feels guilty for a split second for not caring about the others. They were her friends and they’re dead, but she doesn’t care because Julia is the only thing on her mind. As she rushes over to her she slips in the blood and falls to her knees and instead of getting back up she crawls over to where Julia lays in a puddle of blood. She’s sobbing when she reaches her and cradles her face in her blood covered hands. “Please breathe, Julia. Oh gods, please breathe.”

It’s useless. She knows it’s useless. Julia’s eyes are open, staring at nothing. But Kady still presses her mouth to hers and blows air into her lungs while holding her nose. She does it twice before giving up and presses her forehead against Julia’s. “I’m so sorry, fuck. I’m sorry I wasn’t by your side.” She’s choking on her tears now and her voice is breaking. “Please.” It’s a prayer now. Kady doesn’t believe in prayers but she’ll do anything to bring Julia back. “Julia, please,” She lets out a sob. “Please, breathe-“

She hears the slicing of her flesh before she feels it. And then suddenly she’s bleeding and she falls against the cold floor. Weakly, she reaches out and closes Julia’s eyes. She deserves at least that. One last thing she can do for her. The last thing Kady does before her world goes black is grab Julia’s already cold hand and intertwines their fingers. The last thing she sees is Julia’s hand against hers. Those hands that created the sparks that became a part of something so important, something so beautiful. Kady wonders if she’ll ever see those sparks again.

Maybe in another life.

* * *

 Somewhere, in a dimly lit room, Jane sighs. She really thought it would work this time, after all the tries. Kady and Julia were a force to be reckoned with but it wasn’t enough, just like all the other attempts. With a disappointed sigh, she resets the timeline for the thirty eighth time.

 


	2. The Stuff of Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Reynard has plans for Julia, and she isn't sure she's strong enough to get through it. Trigger warning for blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, I'm a little nervous posting this because it could be very unpopular, but I worked hard on this, and I'm proud of my work.

The first thing Julia feels as she wakes up is pain. It’s not a sharp pain, but she aches all over. The second thing she feels is cold. She looks down at herself and sees her shirt is gone, her bra the only thing on the upper half of her body. Then, there’s a harsher cold, and as she moves her hands, she realizes it’s handcuffs. She can’t panic. Won’t. She doesn’t remember how she got here, doesn’t know what’s happening, but she can get out of it. She closes her eyes and breathes in, expecting to hear the clink of the handcuffs and the feeling of them falling off her wrists. 

She doesn’t. They’re still there. 

And then she’s hears the chuckle, and her whole body stiffens. She lifts her head up and there he is. And she immediately recognizes the bed as the one in his seedy, run down apartment She, Kady, and Penny had been only days before. 

“What’s wrong, Julia?” He moves to sit on the edge of the bed and Julia immediately tries to shrink away from him. “Stuck?”

She can’t be afraid. She won’t be. “What is this? What the fuck are you doing?”

He smiles at her, and for a moment her heart clenches because that’s Richard’s smile. The smile of the man she once thought maybe she could fall in love with. “Those?” His fingers point to the handcuffs around her wrists, the ones keeping her trapped to his headboard. “Gift from a friend. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Phobetor? God of nightmares?” His smile turns into a grin. “See, no matter how powerful you may be now, you won’t be getting out of those. Magically infused. Powerful, dark magic.”

He gets off the bed, coming to stand beside her. “He was an old friend. Of course, he couldn’t stay long. No one associates with me anymore, after my..fall from grace.” He leers at her. “Not even mommy dearest.” His voice is full of loathing and fire. 

“It’s your own fault.” She spits at him. 

A mistake. He grabs her neck, cuts off her breathing. “You’re going to help me now, Julia.” He let’s go of her, stands and turns his back to her. 

“You’ve lost your mind, Reynard. Do whatever you want to me, there’s no way in hell that I will ever help you.” She tugs at the handcuffs. “You’re pathetic. And empty. And powerless. I will not help you.”

He turns back to her, pointed teeth showing in his even larger grin. “Oh, Julia. You say that like you have a choice.” He’s toying with something in his hands. There’s a glint, and suddenly she remembers. 

* * *

_When Julia woke up, it was in Kady’s arms and she sighed, reveling in the warmth of her girlfriend. Groaning slightly and carefully slipping from her arms, so as not to wake her, she walks downstairs. She’s had this sore throat for three days now and it seems that not even her own healing can get it to go away. After she walks downstairs, she heads to the kitchen, turning on the tap. Before she can even reach for a glass, there’s a body pressing against her from behind, and there’s a knife to her throat. “Scream and I’ll burn every single one of them.” It’s not a voice she recognizes. Before he transports them, Julia rips her half of the best bitches necklace off her neck, watching it drop to the floor and she stares as it as it glints in what little light there_ _is in the kitchen._

_Whoever he is, he doesn’t seem to notice, and then there’s nothing but darkness._

* * *

“Ahh,” Reynard must have seen her eyes as they replayed the memory. “Do you remember now? How you got here? That was Phobetor, he owed me a favor. And out of pity, gave me three gifts. The handcuffs, this knife..and something I’m sure will come in use later.”

The glint, she realizes, when he says it, is from a knife. “You see, Julia.” He moves on top of her, straddling her legs, and she wants to scream, because this is familiar. This is so familiar and she can’t be afraid. But she is. She’s so, so afraid. “I’m going to cut out that seed of magic my mother stole from me and gave to you.” He leans down to whisper in her ear. “Just like you cut out my child.” 

She wants to scream. 

And when the knife digs into her skin, she does. 

* * *

Kady yells in frustration and punches the wall, leaving a slight dent. “There’s got to be some fucking way we can find her!” 

Quentin is pacing back and forth. “We don’t even know what happened.”

Penny is silent, sitting next to Josh and Alice. 

“Maybe she just left.” Margo suggests. 

Immediately, like a caged animal, Kady turns on her. “Shut the fuck up Margo! You don’t fucking know her, I’m so sick and tired of you acting like she’s the worst person in the world, Julia wouldn’t fucking abandon us!”

Quentin nods in agreement. “She wouldn’t.” 

“So, Question,” They all turn to Eliot who’s standing in the kitchen, holding up a broken necklace. “Isn’t this hers?”

Kady takes it from him, staring at it. Then, something clicks in her head and she turns to Penny. “Reynard.” 

* * *

Julia’s throat burns, and Reynard growls as the knife digs into her stomach. “She attached it to you so well.” He gives her an angry smile. “So talented, my mother. Believe it or not, I actually didn’t have plans to kill you. But, it seems I’m going to have too.” 

For a moment, Julia wonders, if in the thirty nine other timelines, the last thing she saw was going to be as horrible as this. She closes her eyes, tries to imagine Quentin. Tries to imagine Kady. 

She opens her eyes and Reynard is smiling at her. And then, he takes the knife, raises it above his head, and sends it plunging into her heart. 

Except he doesn’t. Because before he can, the door to his apartment is being kicked open and Kady is standing there, her entire body radiating pure rage. And so is Quentin, and so is everyone else. But before any of them can get to her, Reynard waves his hand and they’re all frozen. He smirks down at Julia. “And that, was the third gift.” He sighs and climbs off her. “Who says we can’t have a little fun first?” 

Then he’s looking at Kady, and when he looks back at Julia, he’s grinning. That same, familiar grin. And that same evil glint in his eye. She can’t read his mind, but she can feel what he’s thinking. And she’s so afraid, and she’s in so much pain. 

But then. 

Then she’s something else. Something indescribable. She doesn’t know how, knows she never will, but something deep inside her snaps, breaks wide opens, and her eyes begin to glow as bright as the sun. The handcuffs don’t just unlock, they burst into a million tiny pieces, falling around her like confetti. And then she’s standing off of the bed. 

Except, no. She’s hovering. And so is every single piece of furniture and Reynard is shocked and Julia almost grins when she sees the fear. She’s been afraid, been afraid so many times. Now it’s his turn. Julia feels her magic, feels it grab him by the neck and begin to choke him. She can feel the darkness seeping in through her light. She’s going to kill him. She’s going to make sure he’s off this earth, out of the atmosphere. She’s going to tear him apart. She’s going to make him nothing. 

And then. No. Because all her friends are looking at her, and she hears Our Lady in her ear, and she remembers. Remembers who she is. Remembers what she is. 

And it isn’t this. The darkness will not have its way, not this time. She drops him on the floor, he’s gasping and choking for air and slowly, her feet hit the floor again. She walks over to him, kneels so they’re face to face, and a memory flashes through her head, and she’s making sure he’s looking her right in the eyes. “Don’t you fucking touch her.” She can hear her current voice mixing in with her older one, can feel the echo of how she said those words before. Her voice was trembling then, on that day, it isn’t now. “Don’t you ever fucking touch her.” She isn’t afraid anymore. 

She doesn’t have to make him nothing. He already is. 

Then she walks over to all of her friends, closes her eyes, and takes them back to Brakebills. Once they realize they’re in the physical cottage, and they can move again, Kady and Quentin are the first ones to hug her, grabbing her and pulling her close, asking her if she’s alright. After, one by one, the others hug her too, even Margo, and she lingers before letting go of Julia. There’s silence for a long time, all of them trying to process what just occurred. 

Quentin is the one to break it. “Holy shit, Julia. How did you?..” He trails off, not quite sure how to word it. 

“I don’t know.” Her hands are trembling, she realizes. Her entire body is. The adrenaline is wearing off, she guesses. She holds her stomach, takes in a shuddering breath. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion when her hands feel wet and she pulls them away, seeing the blood. Oh, right. Then she remembers she doesn’t have a shirt on. 

She almost wants to laugh. What comes out instead is a coughing breath and Kady is immediately by her side, carefully gripping her waist. “Come on, let’s get you in a hot shower.” Julia can only nod. As Kady helps her up the stairs, she expects to hear something witty come from Margo’s mouth, knowing it’s her way of distracting herself. 

Instead, all she hears is the sound of the stairs creaking. 

* * *

When they get into the bathroom, Kady helps her undress. After helping her into the shower, she looks like she wants to stay, but hesitates. “I’ll be right out here, okay?” She leaves the bathroom and gently shuts the door behind her. 

To exhausted to stand, Julia sits down in the tub, letting the warm water wash over her. When she sees the blood flowing down the drain, she presses her hands to her stomach and heals herself. There won’t even be a scar. 

But there’s so many invisible ones. 

After what feels like hours to Julia, but in reality is only about fifteen minutes, she calls out for Kady and the other girl is immediately there, turning off the water. She wraps Julia in a towel and helps her walk to Kady’s bedroom where she quickly collapses onto the bed. Kady dresses her in underwear and a shirt that falls to her knees, making her immediately realize it’s Quentin’s. Kady gives her a small smile. “He, uh. He said you used to borrow this shirt a lot. Thought you might like it now.” She wants to smile, but every muscle in her is drained. 

The shirt is at least five years old, and the blue coloring has faded lightly but the quote on it hasn’t. ‘I get by with a little help from my friends’. She remembers when Quentin used to be obsessed with John Lennon. And again, she wants to smile. 

Kady crawls under the covers with her and wraps Julia in her arms. “Are you okay?”

Julia shakes her head. “I was going to kill him.”

“But you didn’t.” There’s no disappointment in her voice. Not like the first time.

“I couldn’t let the darkness seep in. Not again. I don’t even understand what happened..those handcuffs, they were supposed to be powerful enough to keep me trapped but then..then he looked at you, and I knew. I could feel what he was going to do.” Her voice cracks slightly. “I couldn’t let him hurt you, Kady.”

Kady pulls her tighter against her. “Whatever magic you have is obviously so much stronger than what he was using.”

Julia looks at her. “I know it is. But I couldn’t get out until you all showed up. I think..I think my magic wanted to protect you. All of you.”

Kady strokes her cheek. “And it did.”

Julia takes in a shaky breath. “Yeah. It did. I’m not okay, but I will be.” She moves herself closer to her girlfriend and closes her eyes, already half asleep. “Kady?”

“Hmm?” She’s half asleep too. 

“I’ll fix the necklace in the morning.”

When Kady laughs lightly and presses a kiss to the top of her head, Julia smiles. 


	3. Timeline 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An AU in which until you physically touch your soulmate, you see the world in black and white. When your soulmate dies, you go back to seeing black and white.

Kady, in general, doesn’t give a shit about anyone because it never ends well. Abandonment issues mixed in with a sketchy past don’t really help, either. So, Kady tries not to give a shit. She doesn’t make friends, and definitely doesn’t get into relationships. She’s built enough walls that not even a hundred armies could knock them down. She’s accounted for pretty much everything at Brakebills. She keeps her head down, spits venom at people who try to talk to her, and tries not to get kicked out. 

She’s accounted for everything. 

That is, of course, everything except the five foot one whirlwind that is Julia Wicker. 

* * *

Kady groans and brings a hand to her head to rub at her left temple. She’s almost positive she’s failed the latest test and that she’s going to get expelled and have her memory wiped. Oh well, at least along with the magic her memories of that gods forsaken test will go too. Alice Quinn is looking at her from a bench, some type of book in her lap. Kady glares and moves her eyes to the ground. Kady has seen her do this before, stare at people for random amounts of time. Apparently Alice Quinn likes to people watch. She’s staring at the ground, so she doesn’t see the girl running towards her. 

Well, not towards her. Kady just happens to be standing in the direction she’s running. And, unfortunately, she’s to wrapped up in her head that she doesn’t notice Kady until she’s ramming into her and they both fall on the concrete. 

Kady gasps and winces at the immediate pain in her back. “What the fuck?”

Julia is stunned for a moment before she realizes what just happened. “Holy shit, I’m so sorry. Oh fuck, I’m late for class and I wasn’t watching where I was going and I just..sorry.” Julia gathers up all of her books and stands, offering her hand to Kady. 

Kady gives her a glare and pushes her hand away, standing up by herself. “Whatever. It’s fine.” She ignores the way the other is gaping at her and walks away, not paying attention to her shouts that are asking her to wait. 

* * *

Once she’s back to the physical kids cottage, she breathes in, her heart pounding for an unknown reason. She glances up at the sky as she exhales. 

So that’s what blue looks like. 

The realization hits her like a knock back spell. 

* * *

The next day, as she’s exiting her last class, the girl that had knocked her over is sitting outside and when she sees Kady she rushes over. “Hi.”

Kady looks at her warily. “Are you stalking me?”

She gives her a small smile and shakes her head. “I’m not stalking you. I wanted to apologize again for yesterday.”

Kady rolls her shoulder. “I told you, it’s fine.”

She doesn’t believe her. “Okay, but I still feel bad. Maybe we could get a cup of coffee or something? My treat.”

Kady lets out a laugh that’s more of a scoff than anything. “No thanks. Listen, I’m just gonna cut to the chase. We’re not soulmates.”

She’s clearly taken aback for a minute. “Bu-what? But..the colors. You see them too, don’t you?”

_They’re pretty hard to miss_ , she almost says but decides against it. Kady sighs and nods. “Yea, but it doesn’t have to mean anything. I know you’re asking me out because you think we’re soulmates, but seriously, I’m letting you off the hook. See ya.” And with that she’s walking away. 

“Wait!” She can hear the other girl running after her. “Kady, wait!”

That stops her in her tracks. She whips around. “You know my name.”

She blushes slightly and nods. “I’m not asking you out because of the colors. I’m asking you out because, well, to be honest, I’ve seen you in a few of my classes and I think you’re really talented and I genuinely want to get to know you. There’s no strings attached, I swear.”

Kady eyes her for a moment, looking for signs that the shorter girl is lying. When she can’t find any, she nods. “One coffee.” 

She beams and Kady’s heart skips a beat. “Great! I’m Julia Wicker, by the way. I’ll meet you after class tomorrow and we can go, alright?” Kady nods and Julia gives her one last smile before walking away. 

* * *

One coffee quickly turns to two as they talk more and more. Julia Wicker is a genius, she quickly realizes. A knowledge student. 

“What are your parents like?” 

It’s an innocent question, she knows that, but it makes her angry anyway. “I’m not going there right now.” 

Julia nods and doesn’t mention it again, which she actually appreciates. “We should probably head back, I’ve got an early morning class and two tests I need to study for.”

Kady scoffs at her then swallows the last of her coffee. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

Julia can tell she’s joking and smirks as she stands up. “I don’t really like easy.” She throws out her coffee and Kady follows her. 

As soon as they get outside, there’s a large clap of thunder and seconds after it starts raining. “Shit!” She grabs Kady’s hand and starts pulling her down the street. “I can make a doorway back to Brakebills but we have to go somewhere we won’t be seen!” It’s pouring now, the rain almost hitting them painfully. 

Kady stops running and Julia stumbles backwards, turning and slamming into Kady which prompts her to grab her hips to make sure neither of them fall. She ignores the heat in her cheeks and starts leading them in a different direction. “Come on, the back alley over here is always empty unless someone is buying drugs.” If Julia wants to ask about that comment, she doesn’t. It takes about five more minutes of running in the rain before they get to the narrow alleyway and Kady stops. “Will this work?” The other girl doesn’t respond. “Julia?” She turns but Julia isn’t looking at her, she’s looking at the sky, awe and shock written on her face. It’s not raining anymore, she quickly realizes. “Are you-“

Julia grabs her hand. “Kady, look.” She does, and _holy shit_. 

“What..what is that?”

“It’s a rainbow.” Kady looks at Julia, tearing her eyes away from the colors. There are tears shining in her eyes and her long hair is a wet mess, clothes sticking to her in a way that can’t be comfortable. For the first time, Kady isn’t upset about the butterflies in her stomach. 

She intertwines their fingers and Julia looks at her. “Kady?”

Kady smirks and cups her cheek with her right hand. Julia immediately catches on and takes a step closer to her. Before anything can happen though, Julia’s phone goes off and makes her jump. “Oh!” Kady sighs in annoyance as she picks it up to answer but she almost laughs when she sees a picture of Coldwater come up on the screen before Julia presses answer. “Hey, Q.” Of course she’s friends with Quentin Coldwater. Of course. 

The conversation only last about a minute before Julia hangs up with an quick ‘love you too’, and gives Kady an apologetic smile. “Sorry. He was worried.” 

Kady surprises herself by giving Julia a genuine smile, small as it is. “It’s fine. You’re friends with Quentin Coldwater?”

Julia nods, quickly making a doorway back to Brakebills. “Best friends since kindergarten.” 

Kady doesn’t know why, but she laughs and Julia rolls her eyes playfully, pulling her through the doorway. “There.” They’re in the library, the smell of books quickly filling her nostrils. “So, listen. I..this was really fun, and if it’s okay, maybe next week we could get lunch or something?” 

Kady merely grins, and pulls her closer, immediately connecting their lips causing the shorter girl to gasp before wrapping her arms around Kady’s neck. After a few seconds Kady pulls away and gives her hip a squeeze. “It’s a date.”

The smile Julia gives her is prettier then any color. 

* * *

Two weeks into their relationship, Kady tells Julia about her parents and how she used to be addicted to certain drugs. She expects Julia to break up with her, to leave. 

She doesn’t. 

* * *

The day after, Julia brings her a red rose, much to her confusion. “What is this?”

Julia smirks and sits next to her on her bed. “A rose.”

Kady rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean.” 

“It’ll never wilt. I had to ask the naturalists for help, which, by the way, remind me to never speak to Josh Hoberman again. Anyway, it’ll never wilt. I got red because..” She breathes in deeply. “I..Kady, I-“

Kady kisses her, cutting her off. “I know. I love you too.” It’s probably to soon, they’re probably rushing, but neither of them care. 

* * *

When Julia tells her about the Beast a week later, she’s furious at first because she’s been hiding it, but no one can stay mad at Julia Wicker for long and it quickly melts into worry. Julia tries her best to explain the situation. Apparently Margo Hanson, Eliot Waugh, and Alice Quinn are involved with all this as well. 

“When?”

Julia sighs and looks down at her hands. “Tomorrow. We’ve all been practicing and we think we’re ready. There’s not going to be another opportunity, we have to end it.”

“I’m coming with you.” Julia immediately shakes her head and grabs Kady’s hands. 

“You can’t, it’s too dangerous. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you got hurt.”

Kady rubs her thumb over Julia’s knuckles. “I’m coming, Julia. I’m an expert at battle magic. I don’t care how dangerous it is. Where you go, I go.”

Julia chews her bottom lip, clearly thinking. After a few moments she sighs. “Alright.” 

They drop the conversation after that, at least for the moment when Julia kisses her and they shed their clothes, quickly laying under the sheets. They take it slow this time, Kady wanting to memorize every inch of her just in case something goes horribly wrong. 

After, Julia pulls her close and kisses her forehead, muttering how much she loves her, and they fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. 

* * *

When Kady wakes up, she wakes up alone. There’s a note on the nightstand next to her bed, just three sentences long. 

_I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me._

* * *

Kady searches all over campus, asking multiple people if they’ve seen Julia, even asking if they’ve seen Quentin, but no one has. 

Frustrated and hurt, but mostly worried, Kady goes back to the physical cottage and sits on her bed trying to think of ways she could find Julia. She quickly realizes that because Julia doesn’t want to be found, she probably won’t be able too. She worries herself sick and knowing she can’t do anything else, pops some sleeping pills and tries to get some rest. 

* * *

At exactly midnight, there’s a sharp pain in her chest and she doesn’t want to open her eyes because she _knows_. But she prays anyway as a last ditch effort. She knows though, that it’s useless. But still, she prays, and hopes, and then she opens her eyes, her vision focusing on the red rose next to her bed. 

It’s black. 

And she sobs. 

* * *

An hour later, Kady doesn’t care about the lack of color. She cares about the fact that she’s never going to see Julia again. Except. Maybe. 

She doesn’t feel guilty when she pushes the needle into her arm, doesn’t feel guilty when the high hits her. She only feels guilty when she knows that it’s almost all over, because Julia will probably be disappointed in her for this, but she thinks it’ll be worth it because a life without Julia Wicker is no life at all. She might as well already be dead. 

She closes her eyes, a vision of a rainbow passing through her mind. 

_Where you go, I go._


	4. Hold my hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Kady tells Julia everything is okay, and one time Julia tells her the same.

The first time she says it, she’s lying. She doesn’t know if Julia knows that she is, but she figures she probably does. The two of them are sitting on Julia’s couch in her apartment, two pregnancy tests sitting broken on the floor from when Julia had thrown them in a fit of anger and fear. It’s not fair, Kady thinks. Being raped and then finding out you're pregnant. But sometimes that’s how life works, and life can be the biggest cunt when it wants to be. There’s tears pooling in Julia’s eyes but she’s not crying, she’s not doing much of anything. Kady doesn’t know if it’s because she’s out of tears or if it’s because it’s fully sunk in and numbed her. Probably both. 

Kady doesn’t know what they’re going to do, which option Julia wants to take but it doesn’t matter, whatever she chooses, she’ll be right by her side, and this time, she’s choosing to stay not because she owes Julia, even though she does. She’s staying because she wants too. “Hey,” She reaches out and takes Julia hands that are clenched into fists, opening up her palms and trying and failing to hide her grimace when she sees her palms covered in bloody crescent shapes from putting so much pressure on them. She holds one of her hands and uses her other to rub Julia’s back. “It’s okay.” 

Julia finally looks at her, then, and sobs. 

* * *

The second time she says it, she almost believes it. They’re walking into the clinic for her abortion and Kady opens the door for her but Julia doesn’t walk in until Kady is right by her side. This is the first step to helping Julia get through this, for her to start healing. Kady glares at the receptionist when she tells Julia her name isn’t the schedule, her voice dripping with judgement and she’s got half a mind to deck her in the fucking face but before she can even form a fist the doctor is telling Julia she’s ready for her and Kady sends a mean grin towards the receptionist. Before she goes back for the procedure, Kady reaches out and gently squeezes her arm. “It’s okay.” 

Julia gives her a slightly scared smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and then she’s walking back towards the room. 

Kady almost believes it, believes her own words. Until the universe decides to send them spitting back like poison when Julia screams. _“Kady!”_  

* * *

The third time she says it, Kady realizes that Julia means more to her then she’s comfortable with. Seeing Reynard point a gun at her face stirred up something she almost wishes had just stayed buried. When Julia freezes him and takes the gun, Kady sags in relief and once again she’s reminded just how powerful Julia is becoming. 

And then, Kady hates herself. Because, who does she think she is? She had seen Julia as selfish ever since she spared Reynard’s life and _who the fuck does she think is_? Because selfish is the last goddamn word anyone should use to describe Julia Wicker. Julia saved her, twice. Probably more. Julia tried to help her save Penny even when Kady basically told her she hated her. Julia literally ended fairy slavery. And now, Julia had confronted her rapist simply because Kady had asked her too. Because Julia puts everyone and everything above herself and Kady swears she’ll never let that word cross her mind ever again. Not when it comes to Julia Wicker. 

When they get back to Brakebills, Kady pulls Julia into a hug. “It’s okay.” _I forgive you_ , she wants to say. _I’m sorry_ , she wants to say. _I love you_ , she wants to say. 

She doesn’t. But Julia hugs her back like she had. 

And a month later, before she forgets Julia Wicker, forgets herself, when Julia sacrifices so much of herself, she wants to scream so many things, but she doesn’t. 

And then, it’s too late. Because Kady isn’t Kady anymore. 

And Julia isn’t Julia. 

* * *

The fourth time she says it, she’s Sam, and Julia is Kim. Kim’s apartment had been broken into and Sam was the first one on the scene. Nothing was stolen, though everything is trashed. And Kim is understandably shaken up when Sam asks her if she has enemies. She doesn’t, none she can think of anyway. 

After everything is done, Sam takes her hand and tells herself it’s not because Kim is really pretty, it’s because she’s a cop and it’s her job to reassure victims. But in any case, she takes her hand and squeezes it. “It’s okay.” 

She tries to ignore how familiar the shorter girls hand feels in her own. 

* * *

The fifth time she says it, Julia is sobbing and shaking on the floor. They’ve just gotten their memories back and they all feel like the floor has just collapsed underneath them. Kady is crying too, wishes she was still Sam, for a moment. Wishes Julia was still Kim because Kim didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders and Kim didn’t know she had been raped, because technically, she hadn’t been. But now Julia is Julia again, and Julia has been through hell and back, and then through hell again. She wishes she could pull the world away, wishes she could lift the weight off, wishes she could push everyone out of the room and wrap Julia in a million blankets and scream at the world to go fuck itself until Julia can breathe properly again. 

But they don’t have that luxury. So, instead, Kady gets on her knees next to Julia and let’s Julia cry into her shoulder until her hands stop shaking. When Julia pulls her into a hug so tight she almost can’t breathe, Kady just cradles her head and whispers into her ear. “It’s okay.” 

They both know she’s lying, this time. 

* * *

When Julia says it, Kady’s terrified. More terrified then she’s ever been, if she’s being honest. Which is stupid, she thinks. But then she sees Julia standing there, smiling at her, tears in her eyes and she realizes that maybe it’s not stupid. Because yes, death is scary, the thought of ones life ending is scary, but life? Starting something and not knowing what their future holds? Holy fuck, that’s terrifying. For a minute she's distracted and smirks slightly because Quentin is crying more than Fen is from their places next to Julia and it takes everything she has not to comment. The closer she gets though, the more her fear grows. 

Kady was born something. 

But she grew up nothing. 

And now, she doesn’t know which she is and it scares the shit out of her. 

But then Julia beams at her when she gets closer and Kady’s breath leaves her in the best way. “Hi.” 

Julia giggles, a breathless sort of sound before she’s grabbing Kady’s hand. “Hey.” She must notice her fear because her beaming smile turns into something soft, something secret, a whisper of something that’s just between them. “It’s okay.” 

Kady believes her. And then everything happens so fucking fast that she’s surprised she doesn’t have whiplash. It doesn’t sink in when Margo announces it. It doesn’t sink in when they go through their vows. It doesn’t sink in when they slip the rings onto each other’s fingers. Fuck, it doesn’t even sink in when Julia stands on her tip toes and kisses her so carefully that her heart swells in her chest and the beating of it isn’t just a heartbeat, it’s a repeating rhythm of _lucky, lucky, lucky_. She’s so fucking lucky. 

It only sinks in after, at the dinner, when they’re dancing together and Julia is even shorter because she’s taken her heels off. When her makeup is slightly messy from where Eliot had kissed her cheeks so hard that he smudged her blush and Quentin had cried, basically sobbed when he hugged her and it wet her mascara. When her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears of happiness and the laughter of their friends is echoing around them that it really, genuinely sinks in. 

Kady Orloff Diaz was born something. 

She grew up thinking she was nothing. 

And now, looking at Julia. Looking at her best friend, looking at the girl who’s been through so much but still gives more than anybody she’s ever met, looking at her _wife_. 

She realizes, at least to Julia, she’s everything. 

And her heart doesn't need to remind her, though it is anyway, Kady knows, she's always known. 

_Lucky, lucky, lucky_. 

And later, when they're falling asleep, wrapped around each other, and Kady listens to Julia's heartbeat, she doesn't need Julia to say it (though they both already have, a million times over), because her heart is screaming it with every beat. 

_I love you, I love you, I love you_.


	5. Stood Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Valentine’s Day and Kady is miserable. There’s a girl who’s been stood up, who looks just as miserable. So, why not make both their nights better? And if she has to pretend she’s someone else, well, where’s the harm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A no magic, different meeting AU.

Kady scowls as she looks around at the tables full of couples staring at each other, some kissing. She pulls her phone from her pocket, checking to see if Josh has texted her to explain why he’s late. When she sees nothing, she rolls her eyes and lays, practically slams her phone onto the bar counter. “Fucking Valentine’s Day.” She turns in her stool, reaching her hand out to get the bartenders attention. “Can I get two shots of tequila?” 

He gives her a smile and a nod while she goes back to people watching. She mindlessly scans the crowd, only stopping when she notices a girl sitting alone at a table. She’s frowning into her wine glass and Kady notices how her eyes flicker to the clock every few seconds. Kady is close enough to hear her when she leans back and sighs, staring at the glass of wine. “Why did I agree to a blind date? I’m going to kill Quentin.” 

Kady cocks her head at that. The girl is no doubt beautiful, light brown eyes and dark brown hair cascading down her back. She looks frustrated and embarrassed, and when the waiter comes to her table, she snaps at him. “She’ll be here! She’s just running late!” Kady grins at that. She’s fiery. Kady definitely likes fiery. 

Feeling bad for the girl, and seeing an opportunity to make her own night less terrible, she quickly downs the shots and walks over to the table. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m late.” 

The girl raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re Sam?” 

Kady nods her head. “Yep.” She pops the P and sits across from the brunette. “And you are?” 

“I thought Quentin already told you my name.” 

_Shit_. “He did, I just..have a shit memory.”

The girl makes a humming noise. “Guess.” 

Kady makes a noise between a scoff and a laugh. “What?”

The girl smirks at her. “You were late, that’s your punishment. You have to guess my name.” 

Kady smirks right back, tapping her nails on the table. “Alright, I like a challenge. Kim.” 

She scrunches her nose and shakes her head. “Definitely not.” 

Kady squints at her. “Okay..Mary.”

The girl raises an eyebrow at her. “Really?” 

Kady sighs and leans back. “Give me a hint.”

“Only two guesses in and you’re already asking for a hint? Pretty pathetic.” She grins into her wine glass and a part of Kady finds that extremely hot. “Alright. My name means youthful.” 

“Seriously? I’m not a fucking librarian.” 

She laughs at that and shrugs her shoulders. “That’s all you’re gonna get.” 

Kady purses her lips. “Guess I’ll have to get to know you better first.” 

They talk for thirty minutes and Kady finds out very fast that this girl is very smart and very opinionated. She’s able to make Kady laugh which is a rarity and she can feel something building in her chest for this girl. Everything is going great, wonderfully, until-

“Kady, hey!” 

Kady winces at the sound of Josh’s voice and glares at him as he walks over to their table and sits down, immediately picking at their leftovers. “Sorry I’m late, Victoria- Oh, hey, who’s this?” He quickly notices the brunette who’s now frowning at Kady. “Oh shit, am I interrupting something?” 

The girl looks between Kady and Josh before standing up. “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom, feel free to gossip about me while I’m gone.” 

Kady immediately turns to Josh. “You have the worst timing, you fucking know that? She though I was her blind date that stood her up.”

He frowns at her while he chews on a fry. “So, you decided to play catfish?” 

She opens her to mouth to reply, but closes it when she sees the brunette walking back to the table. “Get the fuck out of here.” She hisses, pushing Josh out of his seat, ignoring his complaints. He shoots her a look before walking away. 

The girl sits down at the table and crosses her arms. “Kady, huh?” 

Kady sighs. “Listen, I totally didn’t mean to catfish you, I just saw that you had been stood up and you looked miserable so..why are you laughing?”

She had started giggling halfway through Kady’s apology. “I knew you weren’t Sam the second I saw you.” 

“Wait,” Kady’s eyes widen slightly in confusion. “What?”

She smiles and leans her arms on the table. “First off, Sam is a pale, strawberry blonde five foot eight girl. Secondly, she works at the library with Quentin. And you, may I quote, are ‘not a fucking librarian.’” 

Kady gapes at her. “But..if you knew, then why?..” She trails off. 

She shrugs. “I saw you at the bar, earlier. And, to be blunt, you’re hot, and you looked pretty miserable too, so I figured why not just go along with it and see how long you can keep it up?”

Kady points a finger at her. “You..are evil.” 

She grins smugly. “And you, are a catfish.” She stands and so does Kady. “I’m paying for this fake date, by the way, so don’t even try.” 

Kady raises her hands in mock surrender. She’s only known this girl for an hour but she can already tell she’s not the type to take no for an answer. The girl starts walking away from the table and Kady before stopping a few feet away. 

She seems to think and make up her mind about something because she spins back around and strides towards Kady. Standing on her tiptoes and gently gripping Kady’s sides, she brushes their lips together slightly before pulling away and moving backwards. With one last smile, she begins to walk away away. “Wait!” When Kady yells, she turns back. “What’s your name?” 

She gives her a beaming smile. “Check your pocket.” And with that, she’s walking out the door. 

Kady frowns in confusion but reaches a hand into her jacket pocket, pulling out a piece of paper that has a name written on it in perfect cursive. 

_Julia_. 

Kady grins and turns the paper over, seeing a phone number along with a _call me sometime, catfish, I’d like to get to know the real you._

She lets out a laugh and walks over to where Josh is hitting on a waitress at the bar. Maybe there’s something good about Valentine’s Day after all. 


End file.
